Yes. It’s Monday.

Yesterday, September Alliance, just two days from their first ever concert at Avenue L Coffeehouse,  had their first photo shoot with award winning photographer and friend, Cio!

Note to the wise:  Do not jump from high places, barefoot, onto the asphalt while holding someone’s hand, one on either side.  You will not let go in time and you will somehow manage to not only bruise the bottom of your foot and eat the asphalt, since you do not have use of your hands to brace the impact, but you will also produce an unusable picture seeing as the shutter will capture you struck with fear as you realize you are crashing down to your doom.

In the course of artistic events, my sunglasses {at the time being worn by our newest addition Chris Nelson, the percussionaut} somehow were strewn about to the grass beside a silo outside of the feed store we were looking sexy in front of in some sort of emphatic gesture involving the words “Well, if RYAN isn’t wearing glasses then IIIIi’m not wearing glasses EITHER.”  I was too distracted to notice as I was having a flashback to the No Doubt video “Don’t Speak” as Cio asked me to move around to the front.

We searched for the glasses for ages in “the love van” that took us to the photo shoot, which, in and of itself,  is a whole other story involving musicians making sweet, sweet music on a mattress in the back of said “love van”; it was  very BlackCabSession-like.

This morning, Cio remembered Chris’s facetious diva tantrum and the final resting place of my sunglasses just as I was beginning the 4th stage of grief.

As I drove to work, I thought about stopping by the feed store, but considering it’s in the tiny yet overly stoplighted heart of downtown and I both live and work on the outskirts, I decided against it.  As I was taking the makeshift “loop” around town, I passed a different feed store.

Then, proceeded to consider stopping there to look for my sunglasses,  since, you know, they’re both feed stores…

… And this is how I know it’s Monday.

An Alliance with Troll Prostitutes

Considering September Alliance’s first concert is coming up in a couple of weeks, Ryan and I decided we miiiiiiiiiiiiiiight need to practice for the first time.  You know, considering we’d already set up our myspace, facebook fan page, and fan email account.

After figuring out our set list, we began looking up lyrics and chords to the songs we plan to cover for our July 7th concert at Avenue L Coffeehouse {cough cough hint hint… cough… HINT}.  One of the lasts on the list, but highly anticipated:  ”Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey.

Ukulele in my hand, guitar in Ryan’s, we start figuring out strumming patterns and tweaking occasional chords on account of my elf hands that can’t stretch across even the microfrets of a ukulele.  All the while, we’re reading/singing the lyrics.

This is when I first discover that I didn’t really know the lyrics to this song.  For it is then that I first read the words “streetlight people”.

I don’t know if you are a rational person or not, and though I’d like to think I am, it is not my first natural inclination.

What’s that hissing and ticking noise I hear as I go out to my car late at night at a friends house?  Obviously, it’s a purple, tentacled monster… or… a water sprinkler system.  Right… yeah… water sprinklers…

So, you see, when I first read:

“Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night”

Naturally, I assumed it was referring to trolls.  When I thought of people on a boulevard, I imagined the waterway down in the Woodlands.  There are little bridges there, too.  So, streetlight people?  Trolls.  Obviously.  So why is Journey singing about trolls?  Meh.  Who cares.  How the heck am I supposed to make my hand stretch to make the next chord.  FOCUS, MENASCO.

So, I went about my merry way, singing about trolls, not giving it another thought as I was concentrating on the new strumming pattern switcharoo in the middle of the song.  Afterall, I might be female, but I am NO multitasker.  As a substitute teacher, I can’t even take roll because it requires me to read a name, say a name, listen for a response, and then mark on a paper in a quick fashion.  As a “musician”?  I’m sorry… you want me to do one thing with one hand, something else with another, “sing”, aaaaaaaaaaaand pay attention to the lyrics?  Unlikely.

It wasn’t until our next practice a week later that it occurred to me that the chorus {Is that what it’s called?  Chorus?  Verse?  I don’t know… I just tell Ryan to rename them “the fun part” and “the hard part”} about trolls was a wee bit non sequitur.  After all, I thought this song was about prostitutes… And then…

Nicole:  Hey… I thought this song was about trolls.

Ryan:  What?

Nicole:  You know… streetlight people… hiding in the shadows.  It’s kinda creepy and ghoulish.  But it’s not about trolls.  It’s about prostitutes… right?  So now I picture troll prostitutes.

From there, we discussed what a troll prostitute would look like… You know… It’s not much different than what a troll normally looks like.  They got their bling bling on their belly stickin’ out.  They got their haggardly distorted face.  They got their crazy hair.  They got their hot pants… maybe some sort of halter top.  I mean, if they made hooker lace hose small enough, I’m sure a troll would wear it…

I’m just sayin’.  Demz some trashy toys once you get tuh thinkin’ ’bout it.

Anywho, I hope I’ve forever changed that song for you.  You just can’t keep stuff like this in, you know?